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By Julie, on August 1st, 2010
Me, Linda, Tina and Peter went out last night for the Mid Winter Party that turned out to be a 5th Anniversary Party for Chrissy and Kevin. They are a lovely couple who are in love today as the day they got married.
It turned out to be a good crowd of about 40 guests including a couple of neighbours who thought they’d pop over instead of listening to the music and chatter. We mingled with all of them because everyone was friendly and out for a good time. It was also neat to get to know each other better as single parents, share some stories and have a good laugh.
It was set up well with a warm fire, friends of the hosts bringing music equipment and cover and everyone brought a plate plus BYO drinks.
I met up with a few that I’ve met before at the 60′s – 80′s party – that was awesome and at the ‘first party out west’ which was also awesome.
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From left to right – Steve, Nige, Julie, Peter and Linda
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From left to right- Peter, Linda, Julie, Harry, … I’ll have to find out this gentleman’s name as he’s neat.
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Left to right – Linda, Harry, Julie and Nige.
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from the right – Kevin, Chrissy, Peter (at back) Linda (at back) me and …. I wish I could remember the other 2 gentlemen’s names.
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Chrissy and Kevin celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary with Heidi their neighbour on the right.
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I really like this photo of Linda. Nige took it.
By Julie, on July 31st, 2010
A free information programme for parents
Parenting through Separation is a free information programme to help you help your kids when you separate.
What happens at the programme?
You will be in a small group with other parents (up to 16 people). A programme leader will provide you with information. It is not a support group or counselling session, but there are opportunities for you to ask questions and problem-solve parenting issues.
You will be given brochures to take home and two free DVDs – one for yourself and one for your children. The DVDs have in-depth interviews of New Zealand parents and children who have experienced separation. The DVDs also have lots of helpful tips from a child psychologist and a counsellor.
What information is in the programme?
The programme content has been written by leading professionals who specialise in helping families when parents have separated.
The information and tips in the programme are highly rated by parents who have already attended. The content covers
* how separation affects children
* what children need during separation
* talking with children
* talking with ex-partners about arrangements for the children
* keeping children away from arguments
* how the Family Court works
Continue reading Parenting through seperation
By Julie, on July 29th, 2010
These were taken at the West Auckland monthly support group/pot-luck meetup on the 18th July. I wanted to show them off because I’m soooo pleased with how this area is growing. I can’t say how many attended when there were a few families missing from the photo shot because a few had already left and a few were too shy but I can tell you it grows every week with new members.
These also give single parents in other areas a lookie see. 
I took the children’s photos and Mariette took the group ones. I thought they were so good I was thinking of using mine for an up-to-date photo for my facebook page but then realised I wore sunglasses. I might look a bit strange wearing sunglasses for a headshot lol. But I love them all and now that we have a digital camera, we’ll get lots and share them around.
Soooo, if you are in the shot or one of your children and you’d like to have a copy, just let me know.
  
  
By Julie, on July 27th, 2010
We had our AGM Sunday 25th July 2010.
Generally, we are a social group giving single parents the opportunity to mix with other single parents and their families. Yet, we also understand how tough ‘doing life’ can be as well as understand there are lots of good things to learn about from parenting to shared care to balancing work and family from specialists and those who have walked before us in the community.
For this reason we are working on offering a wide range of activities that are important to single parents and their families. Thanks goes out to our trustees who could make our AGM. Next year we will open it up for the whole group to attend so we can get a lot of views and ideas.
Continue reading AGM meeting minutes
By Julie, on July 21st, 2010
Having your hopes and dreams ripped out from under you is devastating. Having the person you love and were expecting to grow old with turn around and say they don’t want to be with you is heartbreaking to say the least. It crushes you and affects everything you do from getting out of bed in the morning to functioning through the day to getting back into bed and sleeping through the night. And that’s just day 1. Relationship breakups, like a death, require a period of healing so here’s some information that will give you an understanding of what you’re going through and some ideas to make it easier to get over your breakup. First up is a list of 7 types of breakups in order of how difficult it is expected to be from the least to the most.
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The Mutual Breakup
This is as peaceful a breakup as you can have, where both of you have mutually agreed to split-up. Some say it’s impossible to walk away pain-free because you have given something up, in this case sharing your life intimately with someone, and need to grieve that loss. Yet knowing you have chosen this yourself, you can focus positively on your future making this the easiest type of breakup to get over.
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The Circumstantial Breakup
The circumstantial breakup occurs when the environment around you won’t permit the relationship to continue. It’s basically a conflict where you have to make a choice. Maybe it’s because of timing and other commitments, or children, or interfering ex’s and other family members, or an age gap, or that one of you has picked up a bad habit, or that the relationship isn’t safe for one of you or the children involved. Whatever it is, you’ve come off second best to a circumstance and so it’s going to hurt.
Continue reading How to get over your break up
By Julie, on July 16th, 2010
I’m a bit stuck on how to approach this post since I haven”t written anything for over a week. It wasn’t how I wanted our first week of the holidays to be but I’m not disappointed because our group is progressing and every step we take is one we don’t have to take again. Events aren’t as simple as I had anticipated but I know once we get to know what’s happening around Auckland, we can add the dates year after year. There are 7 events we get free tickets for each year, then there’s yearly celebrations like the farmer’s parade, teddy bears picnic, and much more. Just learnt about Matariki-Maori New Year and 2 weeks ago about New Lynn RSA having a children’s disco every Sunday during winter and then there’s Corban’s Estate Art’s free events and so on and so on and so on. And then there’s days that are easy and free like a picnic at Western Springs or just feeding the ducks as well as beach days and hiking in the summer months.
The problem we seem to have is not around making events but getting people to them. In a group like this, there’s always members who are eager to jump right in and connect with others while other members like to get a feel for things while other members are outright shy.
We’ve discussed this amongst a few of us and came to the conclusion we’ve got to focus on our friendship.
Continue reading Single Parent July Update
By Julie, on July 2nd, 2010
Second semester holidays start today, 4th – 19th July and being winter it means lots of indoor activities. I’ve noticed many holiday programs available in many areas that range from $18 a day upwards and they look great if you can afford them.
But if you can’t afford to pay or if you want to have your children with YOU, then you’ll be looking around for ideas and things to do that are free and cheap. There’s many good sites with great ideas from making play-dough to jewellery and local newspapers have offers from venues that are reasonably priced. Here’s a neat booklet called, “Mum, Dad, I’m bored” with 100 good ideas. (download here) Yet even so, it would be wonderful it we could make a list for all single parents to know what’s out there…….
Below I’m making a list of things that single parent families can do over the holidays. As always, I’d love to hear ideas from others so please leave a comment AND please speak up if you are interested in meeting up with other families so we can organise meetups.
Wednesday 7th July – Coffee group, picnic, and making gingerbread men.
I will be adding more as I find them and as you dear reader let me know. We will have at least one day at the movies.
By Julie, on June 22nd, 2010
It’s time to work out our events for the July, August and September quarter. (2010)
This is a good opportunity for members to share what they’d like from the group and for the group to hear ideas from members. It’s also a good opportunity to learn how to make a comment online, introduce yourself, and get to know other members. I will walk anyone through who needs a hand, so please, …..if you are not sure how to work the site contact me by emailing info@singleparents.org.nz
I first want to say that I had an awesome weekend going to the 60′s – 80′s party. It was fantastic with a crowd I’d estimate conservatively to be between 80-100 people. The costumes were neat, the crowd was sociable, the music was popular, the dancing made my legs sore the next day and the drinks were a reasonable price. I want so much for all of us to get out for adult activities because we are individuals as well as parents.
I understand some members have little ones and aren’t ready to have a night out away from them and that babysitters are a hurdle for others. On Sunday’s West Auckland meeting we decided to start our first babysitting club. It will give parents the opportunity to drop their children off at another single parent’s home where the children will have their own fun night while parents have a fun night out with other adults. It’s being done as a barter type system where each parent takes a turn to open up their home. We will work it out in such a way parents feel their children are safe and the babysitters have support. Maybe we’ll have 2 parents or one parent and older children. Please let us know if you are interested in joining.
Continue reading What sort of things would you like from our group?
By Julie, on June 18th, 2010
Question: Can I Find Hope When I Feel Like a “Lonely Single Parent?”
I hate to sound like a “lonely single parent,” but it’s such a challenge to meet new people when I barely have time for myself as it is. What can I do? Should I resign myself to feeling lonely until my kids are older?
Answer: It’s not uncommon to feel lonely as a single parent. After all, so much of your time and energy are emptied out in caring for your children and providing for your kids’ needs, that it’s easy for your responsibilities to overshadow a potential social life. However, with some effort, you can overcome feeling like a “lonely single parent” and create the kind of social life you long for. Begin by asking yourself the following questions and choosing one or two of the suggested activities below:
1. What would I really like my social life to look like?
Spend some time envisioning what it would be like to have a fulfilling, active social life. Who would you be spending your time with? How would your children fit into this scenario? Sometimes just getting clear about your ultimate goals can help you find ways to make those dreams a reality.
2. What is standing in my way?
What’s the biggest obstacle right now to your having a lively, engaging social life? Is it time? Is it a lack of opportunity? Could it also be connected to your feelings about yourself? Getting clear about the obstacles you face, or even the walls you may inadvertently put up, can help you overcome them.
3. Does the effort I’m making to meet new people match my desire for an active, enjoyable social life?
If it doesn’t, step up the effort you’re making. In this way, you can work to overcome feeling like a “lonely single parent” by changing the effort you’re making. Try:
To read more click on read more underneath this sentence. 
Continue reading Can I Find Hope When I Feel Like a “Lonely Single Parent?”
By Julie, on June 17th, 2010
 Chantelle's Children It was only months ago when I received an email from a single mother who was moving to Tauranga and wanted to start a single parent support group. Little did I know how serious she was and how far she would get in such a short time. That ‘she’ is Chantelle Campbell and what an inspiration Chantelle is.
Not only did Chantelle start a support group for single parents but an Incorporation she named The Tauranga Single Parents Support Foundation.
From there Chantelle made a deed by checking out ours and another through the Companies Office.
Along with a deed, Chantelle worked out what services to offer and made a website. She sounds a lot like me a few years back.
Their Mission
To provide emotional, physical and financial support to all single parent families as to ease the burden of the emotional, physical and financial stresses that come with single parenting. To give children from single parent families the same access to activities and benefits as those in two parent families. To create a society where all single parent families are treated of equal value and can create for themselves a positive future. To help relieve poverty in single parent families.
WELL DONE CHANTELLE!
Continue reading Single Parernt Support in Tauranga
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