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Men’s support group

Te Awamutu men’s support group has only been operating for a couple of months but has made great progress already.

The group, instigated by Dennis Howell and Paul Maniapoto, meets each Tuesday from 7pm at Kainga Aroha (301 Bank Street). If all the men who have attended the meetings showed up on one night there would be a muster of 15.

Carey, a group attendee, says he has found it beneficial to `get things off his chest’.

“It’s good to tell the group about stuff that could be specific to you, or that others guys have also experienced. ” Carey says it took him a few meetings before he felt confident to talk about some of the things he wanted to talk about.

Another attendee, Darren says talking about things that concerned him has been a great help. “It’s a release to let it out, instead of keeping it bottled up and feeling full of guilt and hatred.”

Dennis Howell, a professional counsellor, says the group is not about therapy, but it does bring about healing.

“It’s about guys listening and giving each other good advice—not saying this is the way you’ve got to do it.”

Paul Maniapoto says group members listen without interrupting. “It’s a place to be heard. There is no negativity and what’s said in the room, stays in the room. It’s about
finding ways to move forward.”

Mr Maniapoto says for some group members, coming forward to talk about their concerns is a huge leap of faith.“It requires the belief that people out there are willing to help, and learning to trust people again.”

Darren says although there are similarities between some situations, everyone in the group has different concerns.“Guys talk about things that have happened in their lives and what they are doing, to do something about it.”

Carey says relationships provide much of the subject matter — “relationships with yourself, your partner, kids and other people”.

“Supposedly, real blokes don’t just not cry, they don’t get sacred either.”

Darren says men are not `onedimensional warriors’. “Not many men are `Jake the Muss’

The first night that the group met a woman showed up. “She just observed for a little
while. The next day she wrote us a letter and congratulated us on starting up a men’s group and gave us a few tips,” Mr Maniapoto says.

He says there have been many expressions of support from the community.

“We’ve been dubbed BOB, for `Band of Brothers’.”

The group is ongoing and more members are welcome.

Contact Mr Maniapoto at 871 4954 or 027 249 3841 or Mr Howell on 870 5049 or 871 6506.